


Why Did I Fall in Love with You?

by inthissworld



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25482115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthissworld/pseuds/inthissworld
Summary: I'm not sure myself.But let me try to remember.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun & Kang Dongho | Baekho, Hwang Minhyun/Kang Dongho | Baekho
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. I Remember

Why did I fall in love with you?  
I'm not sure myself.  
But let me try to remember...

I remember that I never noticed you in class.  
You belonged to a group of student that didn't interest me.  
Since I belonged to the opposite kind of group.   
You belonged to a group of "Bad Boys"

The first time I talk to you felt forceful too.   
Since I wake up too early, and arrive in class when no one was there except you.  
With a black baseball jacket, sitting at the back row.  
I felt so impolite if I didn't make a conversation with you because we were the only people in the room.  
So I approached you and said the stupidest line in my whole life without even asking your name first.

"You know why nobody wants to be your friend?  
Because you're one of those bad boys."

Surprisingly, you just looked at me and laugh out loud.  
The way your eyes turn from a sharp gazing one to two curves and heart-shaped smile was formed.  
I never expect such expression come from someone like you.  
But, I turn away and walk back to my seat because people start coming in.

I remember that was the first time we ever talk.  
And for a long while, I forget your existence.  
Since you belong to  
But deep inside me, I still remember that giggly face of yours.

\---

I remember we still didn't exchange names even after that awkward "incident"  
It was only when our lecturer give us a group project.  
We didn't end up in the same group.  
But you and my best friend were.  
I remember walking with Ren, my best friend, that you asked for his number and surprisingly asked for mine too.  
And I gave you my number without asking back yours.  
When you were saving my number, I spontaneously said,

"Minhyun. What's your name?"

You leave me hanging.  
You just walked off, but after a few steps you turned your back and shouted,

"Baekho!"

\---

I remember not liking you.  
You were a bad boy, for whatever that actually meant.  
Who on earth stops and wears his sunglasses first just to walk from the cafeteria to the library?  
No one but you.  
Not only that,  
You're giving Ren a hard time finishing the group project for not handing your part in time.  
So Ren and I pulled an all-nighter just to finish it up.  
You're not in my group, but for the sake of helping Ren who was about to cry at that time, I get myself into more tasks.

I remember, I started getting short messages from you.  
That I usually just ignore.  
You invited me for dinner a few times but I never accept it.  
Until one day you asked whether I would join you study for a quiz.  
I finally said yes.

I remember not having any topic to talk about at the time.  
So I just kept on studying.  
Then we started to discuss about the article and things felt more comfortable.  
And this act of studying together became a regular activity.  
You, aside from having "Bad Boys" vibes on the outside.  
Actually have a really beautiful mind.  
I like listening to you talk, about the concept of life and how society was always favoring the strongest one, and leave the weak on dust.  
The reason you go against the "mainstream" way of dressing,  
in the hope that people will change perception.

And without realizing it, this act of studying together became a regular activity.  
I remember that you would always bring me chocolate so I could eat it while studying.

I liked that.  
Maybe around that time, I was already starting to falling in love with you.

I remember, we eventually went out to play bowling.  
But with our other friends.  
Since you were around me so much, my group of friends become yours.  
and yours also becomes mine.

You picked me up, and I was so nervous that I had to peek out the window first to see what you are wearing, so I wouldn't embarrass myself for over-dressing.

\---

After all...  
I remember you become that person I would look for when I was sad or in trouble.  
Like that day when I ruined my favorite sweater because I spill hot chocolate all over it.  
It has a cute fox design on it.  
I called you to weep about it.  
Then you calmed me down by saying that you'll buy me a new sweater.  
But until now,  
You never really did, but you just saying that already made me feel better.

That time...

I remember prom night was coming and I asked you whom you're coming with.  
You said that you're gonna ask out the cutest person on campus.  
And I remember, we ended up attending prom night together.

I remember everything clearly before you whisper the magic words of confession.  
And I was officially not only the cutest person on campus ( at least for you)  
I was officially yours.

\---

Maybe one of the things that made me fall in love with you was something that I just remember.  
But maybe I just fall in love with you for no reason at all.

And here we are again, after years of spending our youth together.  
Arguing over things we shouldn't.

"Why did I fall in love with you in the first place?"  
You shouted that question with voice of anger.  
With tone that can pierce every bone of my body.

To be honest, I'm not sure myself.  
I try to remember...  
And it became so clear...

Falling in love with you was something I remember.  
But no longer feels.


	2. I can't

"Oh God, look at you...  
Why did you two break up again?"

Again.  
I am sick of hearing that kind of question.  
The answer is I don't even know myself.  
At that time it feels like the right thing to do, after dating for 5 years, our argument becomes more frequent and it honestly too much of a trouble for the both of us.  
Busy with work, coming back just to argue, was not healthy for both of us.

So, that night, we reach our limit.  
I reach my limit.

"Why did I fall in love with you?"  
His voice still haunts me until now.  
Coming from him just broke me internally.  
5 years of being together plus 2 years of living together, for someone who I've spent a lot of time with asking that question like it was a mistake to fall in love with me in the first place.  
So, we parted.

Even when I don't want to.  
Even when I know if he just walk back right into my arm and say he is sorry, I will forgive him.  
It's been a few months after our break up and an endless loop of "what if" scenario I've been creating inside my head.  
What if that night I'm not too annoyed because of the online driver who tools 30 minutes to pick me up from work.  
What if that night I just hug him when Baekho come home from his work.  
We might end up in a different situation now.

I might be cuddling with him on the bed instead of drinking on a Wednesday night.

"You should stop before you throw up Minhyun."

"You don't understand, Ren. It hurts so much."

"Just go back together already..."

"I can't... He don't love me anymore anyway, why bother asking him?"

"Because you, my friend, clearly haven't moved on yet from your ex."

Ren needs to drag me every single time I'm trying to drown myself into alcohol.  
Because when I'm drunk I can forget about him.  
The shadow of him.  
The one who even in my sleep, keep haunt me inside my dream.

"Time to go home now, you have enough drinking."

"No... I still can drink one more glass."

"You'll be passing out like the last time, geez. If you're not my best friend I'm going to leave you out here alone."

"Does he having a hard time too, Ren-shi..."

"I don't know. He must be. He might be not. You just have to move one. You're handsome, tall, have a stable job, guys be lining up for you if you just open up."

Ren drag me out from the bar back to my apartment and decide to stay for the night just in case I'm losing my mind and just run back to the bar for a few more drink.  
All that I've been doing up until now is just my attempt to distract myself from the fact that I indeed miss Kang Baekho.

And if I'm being honest to myself I hope right now he is going through the same thing I do.  
I kinda hope he was tortured too.  
With the feeling of regrets.

  
Before I sleep, I look at my phone and the last photo of us that I still save on my phone.  
Look how perfect are we in the photo.  
Even when we have an argument from time to time it should only make our bond stronger, right? Not tearing us apart like now.

I was lost inside my own head, after a night of drinking and trying to forget.  
Even sleep can't be my choice to escape, from the fact  
That I can't move on.

\---

"@OptimusHwang : Are you hurting?  
You must be, right?  
Or is it just me?" 00:30

**Author's Note:**

> Another fics.  
> When I should finish the other one first.


End file.
